Termination

Greetings dear Blog readers.
Yesterday was the last of May for 2011. May 31, 2011 has been lived, and that day ain't ever going be lived again. It's done. That was the day (yesterday) when Julia and I went for a serious visit with the oncologist at Boundary Trails. Dr. Bob Menzies is truly a very classy doctor. The nurses at Cancer Care are truly one of a kind. All are very supportive in one's journey.
Yesterday I decided to terminate further treatment with Cetexamub.
There is no further resource or treatment the medical field has for my case. This is it. Cetexamub was the last kick at the cat (or whatever one kicks these days to stay in good standing with PETA).
Dr. Bob admitted that while the biological based treatments like Cetexamub take longer to work, there is no indication that Cetexamub was doing anything drastic. He said I had a valid point, and he never tried to talk me out of stopping treatments. My rationale was that since I started Cetexamub about 11 weeks ago, I have felt nothing but successively worse each week. My skin is doing all kinds of crazy things. My strength is getting less and less. My pains are not getting less. My eating is getting more and more limited. There really are not many positive things that have come about due to this treatment. It has not done enough to make it worth paying for the terrible side effects.
Do I think I have shortened my life span by stopping treatments? No, I think I have increased my life span with this decision. I am hoping that when the drug wears off in my body, my  body will make a bit of a resurgence where hopefully I can have a few better months, and then go home. There is one unfinished writing project I would like to complete, and I will need to be in better health to do that.
Was the decision hard to make? Not really. It was really a matter of realizing that I feel lousy, tired and fatigued most of the time, and coming off this drug I can't imagine I will feel any worse- only better.
The other deciding factor was that the cancer I have is medically incurable. I was told that from the start. This is not a cancer for which medicine has a cure. Therefore, what is the point of taking a drug that makes me feel this pits and yet carries with it no promise of a cure. I don't see that point.
So now what? Do we just sit back and wait for the day when I die? Well I suppose that is one way of looking at it, but I did not expect to live this long in the first place. I have done better than I thought I would. No, we don't roll over and wait for the final curtain call; we continue boldly to do what we can still do. And that is my attitude till my dying day. There is always something the LORD has for me to do.
Your prayers are deeply cherished.