Today at 2:45 PM we are meeting with Dr. Bob of Boundary Trails Health Center in Winkler about the pros and cons of continuing or discontinuing treatments.Why would I call off any further treatments> (1) The cancer, medically speaking, is not curable. (2) The treatments are making me extremely tired, their is muscle aches involved, and itch that is requires constant attention so it can be kept in check. (3) The treatments are not doing anything that is overwhelming positive. Yes, the tumors did not grow as much as they could have, but I want shrinkage, not slow down in growth. If you ever have had 'faatah haan" (English lierall says fat hen) in your garden, you want to get rid of the horrible weedand not just a reduction in its numbers. (4) Since I have started these treatments, I have been going downhill and I don't like it. Stopping these treatments will (medically speaking) hasten on the advance of cancer. I will most likely die sooner. I am ok with that- I think. (5) I am hoping that stopping treatment will give me a few better months in which I can complete some projects and actually live and not just exist.
The reason for continuing treatment would be the ever present optimism that perhaps a miracle would happen and the treatment would do more than ever expected.
At this point I just don't think that the treatment is doing enough to make the suffering worth it.
Your prayers are cherished.
Not to make light of your day’s decision in any way – the toughest decision I have to make today is whether to go to the gym or not…. It is an interesting exercise when one stops and thinks about one’s day…. Some wonder how they will make a couple of meetings, what is for supper, some have to pay their Autopac, and some may have a haircut later on. Your decision my dear friend Charles is not comprehendible to my human mind. We will just have to stand by, or play through our daily operational matters for this day, and days to come. If I was capable my friend, I would give you some of my strength for today, and days to come. All I can do is lift you up in my thoughts….. DW
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