Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Still Looking for What I Have Not Found in Looking for It

It's 1:30 am Wednesday.
Sleepless in Rosenort.
This is what I took before bedtime tonight: 2 Tylenol Pain Manager pills, one to take away the pain on the rught side of my lower back, and the other for any other pain (I should have taken the third for the pain in the donkey that the sleeplessness in giving me). I have no pain this night- Praise the Lord for that! I also inhaled 5 10mg Apo-Hydroxyzine pills to help manage itchiness and to enhance the study of the interior walls of my eye lids. In addition I swallowed half of a Pms-Zopiclone 7.5 mg pill which is a basic sleeping pill. Then I applied an external steriod lotion called Betamethasone which is a powerful itch fighter. And the cocktail to toast a good night of sleep was 1000mg of Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C mixed in a glass of Rosenort Coop Filtered Water.
None of these are Melvin pills.
The results?
It's now 1:42 am, and I am pretty much on schedule to catch the annual Wednesday Owl Business Meeting.
So I decided to get up and eat Puff Wheat with some protein powder from New Zealand. I bought the powder, and when I got home I read the fine print and part of the revenue they make from that protein goes to the David Sizuki Fund to help save the world from the stuff you and exhale every day. That will be the last time I will buy that stuff. It's probably a protein powder that would not cause human anal emissions.
Part of the reason for this itchiness this night is- at least this is my belief- my lack of adequate water intake. I think this is rather very important.
We did start juicing vegetables again, so I am enjoying that lovely taste again, but I believe this is critically important since my love for eating veggies is on the same level as eating headcheese and klik luncheon meats at supper.
Today, which is yesterday, the treatment went very well. I actually left chemo room feeling better than when I came in there. Not sure why.
I have forgotten what a good night feels like.
I have forgotten what it feels like to not have itch.
I have forgotten what a really good day is like.
I have forgotten what living without cancer was like.
I have forgotten what a joyful anticipation of going to bed is like.
But I have come to anticipate with greater anticipation Jesus' second coming.
But I have come to envy people like Liz Friesen who went home to Jesus yesterday afternoon.
But I have come to view this world as not my final home, but that being in heaven.
But I have grown to appreciate how wonderful it will be to move into that place Jesus is building for me.
But I have come to understand better what the Bible says to us about hope, and it's not in this earth.
But I have come to the point that I know God is using this cancer to accomplish His will in me.
I would rather spend 30 minutes with a dying saint, than a day with a rich man.
I would rather spend a day visitng with saints in persecution, than a week by the lake in some ritzy cottage.
I would rather spend a day in a house of mourning than a week in the house of pleasure.
In all cases, the former have life while the latter are trying to find life.
Life begins when it sees death.

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